Confessions.

I steal biscotti from the executive kitchen at work.

I will sometimes buy hair products or hand soaps that have a more unisex or masculine scent because I like having the smell around.

I went to the mall wearing high heels once. My feet were killing me so badly that I faked a sprained ankle at guest services so I could get a wheel chair to ride around in.

I have a secret love for Rob Thomas…

I sometimes talk to customers on the phone with different accents.

God changed my life.

I pray for you everyday. many times throughout the day.

If you think I might be talking about you, you might be right.

I have a hard time with self discipline. I need it, I want it. I fail many times.

I’ve written a letter to “my future husband” probably about 5 times. Every time I wrote it I was crushing on someone pretty bad and had it in my mind that my future husband was them.

Sometimes I write really ridiculous things. And I want to post them, but I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me. Sometimes I lack discretion. Sometimes I don’t care.

My tastebuds are not rejoicing.

So I decided to grab food before I came home tonight. I’m trying to eat healthier and lose a few El-Bees so I went to Whole Foods. I managed to eye the salad bar a few times, but then decided to go for some squash spaghetti with feta and basil, and some vegan general tao’s chicken (both quite de-lish).

So then, as I was looking for something to wash it down with I came upon this:

Kombucha Tea. Apparently it’s the new craze that I’ve somehow missed out on.  Shown to “rejuvenate, restore, revitalize, replenish, and regenerate”

“Oh wow, I need that!!”

I purchase my drink, and as I head out the door I start twisting off the cap.

“ssssssssssssssssssssssss”.

“Huh? Ok, I just bought carbonated tea. Not really my thing…but no biggie.”

As I bring the open glass bottle closer, a sour odor stings my nose.

Well, let me tell you. If you’re in the mood for fizzy-fermenty-yeasty-vinegary liquid gym sock with floaters, then boy, is this drink guaranteed to satisfy!

I figured I would do some research on what exactly makes this tea a “home-made” tea, and so, I went to the most reliable source for all of my internet reseach: Wikipedia.

“Kombucha is the Western name for sweetened tea or tisane that has been fermented using a macroscopic solid mass of microorganisms called a “kombucha colony”

“Wha?”

For those of you who are like myself and are more visual learners– I’ve included some pictures of Kombucha in the making:

In Japan, kombucha tea is known as “kocha kinoko” which translates as “tea mushroom”, and has a lot of health claims.

I didn’t realize you could “hand make” tea. I’d consider myself a well-educated, snooty tea conoseiur, and I’ve never come across a tea that wasn’t leaves, sometimes dried fruits, and water. Maybe that dish I left on the counter for a few months that had things growing in it…maybe I’ll market that. There’s some organic for ya.

I went to their website, and the slogan for Kombucha tea is “re-think what you drink” Well, thanks to you, kombucha tea, my taste buds are scarred for life and I just wasted $3.47. So, I think I will….

The open beverage is now sitting on the table next to me. I keep looking at it–and I keep reaching for it. It’s almost become a challenge to myself.

“One more Sip! You Can do it!!”  As if it won’t be so bad the next time….

“Auggh!”

Yep. It was.

It tastes so terrible that it has to be good for you, right?

Faith Enough.

I have a problem with pride.
Not the kind of pride that thinks I don’t need anyone’s help,or thinks that I have it all together
(don’t laugh. I know you all know that I don’t think that)
But the kind that thinks God isn’t big enough.
It’s almost as if I don’t believe what I say I believe
….As if I don’t believe God really is THAT big.
That He can do what He says He can do.
If I did, I feel like I’d be on my knees a lot more.

I’m in this infomercial world
and all the ways I’m told that will bring me to Him.
He’s all I really want
and so I’m sucked in.
I read more books about Him than His own Holy Word itself
I use Him as a way to get caught up into people.
Social justice and the common good–all in “His name”, of course.
Am I more in love with that
Than Jesus Himself?

I’ve always believed, never doubting His existance
(I’ve actually tried to, and I couldn’t. I’m haunted by it)
But how can I even begin to know Him until I choose to believe Him?
I want to take Him at His Word. Everything He says.
My pride cheats me from Him.
I take for granted that I can talk to the God of the entire universe directly. Anytime. Unceasingly.
…If I chose to.
And that He wants me to have faith enough to believe His incomparably great power is for us.
For those who believe.
The same great power that raised Christ from the dead–
That’s the same power He has for us.
Really. See Ephesians 1.
God says it, I believe it.
( I mean. I want to believe it.)

I wonder what would happen if we prayed like we believed?
If we really believed.
We probably would be on our knees a lot more…

In Matthew 9:27 Jesus heals two blind men. He asks them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this? They replied, “Yes, Lord”.  Then He touched their eyes saying. “According to your faith, it will be done to you.”

Whoa. So. My faith impacts what God will do in my life…

And now I’m writing this blog, instead of getting down on my knees.

 

 

I’m gonna get down on my knees.

First Sundays.

The first Sunday of every month Crossroads is now meeting at the Stanton Center in Annapolis to serve a meal to the community on and around Clay Street. This isn’t a “line-up-and-here’s-your-plate” soup kitchen. Instead, it’s a  ”Come-in, let-me-show-you-to-your-seat, you-are-our-guest-tonight” night.  The Auditorium is transformed into a restaurant, and we seat and serve a meal to the people that come in–and then also sit down with them to eat and hang out.  The “us and them” mentality is out the window, and instead, relationships start to form as we enjoy the night together. As we get to know each other, it also becomes very natural to talk about our lives on a deeper level, including about our faith and relationship with God. This is very exciting.

Last week while at the Stanton Center, I met this guy named Marcus. Marcus came into the Stanton Center that night by chance–he was simply stopping by to put up fliers for a music festival he was putting together on Clay Street that following saturday, and he urged us to all come and to bring friends. I thought the event sounded like it could be pretty cool, but I can honestly say I wasn’t planning on thinking much about it once he left. After all, it was on a Saturday. That’s my day.

So the following week came and yesterday I remembered Marcus. And just started to think about “First Sundays” and what it is we are actually doing here. I started to feel so convicted, I couldnt stop thinking about everything. “First Sundays” is such a great way to love and serve and build relationships with the community on Clay Street! And there. I had done it. First Sundays has become this cool church thing I do once a month that fulfills my “loving God, and loving people” requirement. 

Check! 

Pretty convenient, really.

How much of a sacrifice is this to me anyways? I mean, it’s during a time I’ve already set aside that I would normally be at Crossroads. I’m starting to feel like this one night a month might not be everything I’m called to be doing right now. I’m being tugged to be so much more than that.

So today was that music event that Marcus was handing out fliers for last week. And today I was a part of something. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t completely comfortable at first(even with the two friends I had with me–thank you Shane and Tom:-). I mean, here I am, trying hard not to look and feel awkward, and on unfamiliar territory looking very ovbiously like an outsider. It’s a little hard to be at ease when you walk by a house with an “If you don’t live here, stay away” sign on a porch. It’s funny though–after about an hour in, I was laughing and dancing with this community on Clay Street–and even started a Conga line. 

I hope as more opportunites come as a way to love and serve people, I take them, even if my first reaction doesn’t feel like it. It’s so worth it.

It’s funny how I was going with the intention of trying to bless these people in some way, and they blessed me.

Salad needs more butter, mother!

In light of being invited to family night at friend’s house on Monday, I thought it would be good to do some research on how to behave in such a setting that I haven’t had much experience with. I was taking notes. A few things i’ve learned:

I need to wear something festive.

Always cut the meat of the person to your left.

We may or may not be scrubbing each other.

Emotions are for ethnic people.

If I’ve handled a dead woodchuck, I really should wash my hands…

Offer Pop some gin if you sense some tension.

 

Well, there it is. Spankings all around then.

Oh Cilla, I can’t wait. I’m giddy.

and so I was smiling and giggling outloud, looking like an idiot at city dock today.

Donald miller has such a funny and endearing way to put things sometimes…

“And I wonder what it sounded like to God when Jerry Falwell went on television and said the reason the twin towers were hit by those planes was because there were homosexuals in the building. I wonder what kind of annoying squeak that was in God’s ear. I don’t think a person who makes statements like that fears God. I don’t think people like this respect God when He says to love your brother, love your enemy, turn the other cheek, don’t judge lest you be judged, be patient, be kind, hold your tongue and give every effort to keep the bonds of peace…I don’t think they actually fear Him or think He means what He says.

I was pleased to discover the God of Scripture is much larger than this. Everybody who met God in the Bible was afraid of Him. People were even afraid of the angels, so the angels always had to calm people down just to have a conversation. I would think that would be very annoying if you were an angel, always having to settle people down just to talk. It makes you wonder if the first thousand years in heaven will have us running around screaming like we would during an earthquake, the whole time God saying to us in an enormous, booming voice, Calm down, calm down, will you, it’s just Me.”

(Searching for God Knows What)

Donald Miller fixed up my bloody knee

So i did it, turned out to be about 30 miles on the roads of DE all the way to
the beach!

Was really challenging at some points, but it was so cool to be a part of such a
great cause.
After only one mile in I was dodging a construction sign, and instead of going
around the sign like a normal person, I decided to pretend I was a professional
stump jumper and go around the tiny space of road between the sign and the grass…My tire got caught on the edge of the road, ended with a hard fall and a nice battle wound. Donald Miller
(author of Blue Like Jazz) was one of the cross country cyclists with us, and he
helped clean up my knee and bandage it ).
Anyways here is the site if you want to read about the event:

www.ridewelltour.com

HUGE Thank you to those who helped me raise money for this–and Phil who went out of his way to help me raise money!!!! I was able to raise beyond
what I pledged to. Money goes to Blood:Water Mission to building clean water wells in Africa.
Also HUGE thank you to Amy Wingfield for her encouragement and support–riding
with me to help prepare for this, and also going up with me to be a great
support and friend )

Thank you guys

oh it was a good day

So let me just say I had a pretty intense evening last night. After battling a long time with myself, trying to tell myself all of the reasons why I shouldn’t do the ride (feeling like I just can’t, combined with some knee issues) I just prayed. and prayed. I didn’t even go to bed last night–decided to just continue to stay up, and go to another killer cycling class at the gym this morning (I knew by then if I went to bed I would NOT be getting up to go a couple of hours later). I pushed myself harder than ever today ( and thank the Lord that I was more towards the back of this class…I had some moments of making some really horrifying faces, and I’m sure if my fellow classmates saw me it probably would have really freaked them out… . Quite a few instructors at the gym know about this ride, and have been giving me some great advice. I’ve mainly been doing cycling and other endurance classes at the gym, and although I’ve done a few real rides outside, I need to really start doing more even more now that time is ticking.
After class today, one of the instructors recommended Mount Washington Bike shop to talk to them about any additional questions I might have. I went there right after, and I met a guy named Johnny. Here I am, just strolling in there–in this place where I’m assuming only professional bikers dare tread, and I immediately start asking him a thousand questions. And he willingly and eagerly answers all of them with more wisdom and grace than I ever could have expected. I had also been using a borrowed car rack from a friend, and just recently bought my own off craiglist from a stranger in a not-so-friendly part of baltimore….and Johnny helped me figure out the mangled mess that I bought from someone else, and mounted this rack onto my car. I was able to talk to him about the Ride:Well Tour, and give him a flyer, and he wants to help support me by discounting any additional equipment/gear I decide I might need, along with possible assistance in my fund raising. I did learn an interesting fact today that I feel quite silly about–I have a mountain bike–which apparently has tires that makes road biking more difficult! I’m going up there again Tuesday night so he can switch my tires to road tires, and get anything else I need. It’s so funny how just one person going out of their way, and wanting to, can change my spirits tremendously. I’m inspired, encouraged, and more hopeful.
Sooo, I will be in DE for the last 30 miles of the tour. I’m excited for the challenge, to finally meet everyone involved, and I’m especially excited to see how this ride changes more hearts here, and what comes of that. Oh, and if anyone wants to pray for my knee not to give me issues (or at least issues i can’t handle), feel free .