On Africa-awkard, fond, and funny memories. Excerpts from my journal.

• We arrived at Accra and Uncle Jude and the Scripture Union staff were there to greet us. One of the staff–Nana Yaw shook my hand and I introduced myself. He instantly said “Oh, Yes, Hannah– We’ve been praying for you.”

• Oi. Wet my toothbrush with the faucet water again. Good thing I brought 5 more as back up.

• Ghana-lives in community.  Uncle Jude says its very common for a family of 5 boys to eat from the same bowl.

• a “10 min drive” actually means 2 hours

• a 2 hour church service actually means 5 hours.

• Goats are just wandering around everywhere—and some are curled up in the middle of the street–like kittens!

• Uncle Jude says that married couples don’t show any public displays of affection. They don’t touch. I could never live in Ghana if I were married.

• Today was the rally at Accra Academy. Our first school. These kids must really love Americans. Everyone wanted our phone numbers and addresses. I feel like a celebrity.

• One thing about today that I thought was fantastic is that they do the offering as part of worship. They sing and dance up the the offering plate. And when they drop the offering in, they stay up there and keep singing and dancing. Talk about giving joyfully! I think Bay Area should adopt this.

• As we pass all of the little stands and stores on the side of the road, I’m trying to write down some of the names:

My God is Able Drug Store

Thy Will Be Done Boutique

God’s Finger Furniture

God First Frozen Food.

• The buses here are not like in America. We have these huge public transit buses. The public buses here look like 8 passenger vans. I really love just watching all of the people here live life.

• Uncle Jude asked Kwame to talk for 3 minutes only about the history of Ghana. Kwame took much longer. Uncle Jude kept rubbing and burying his face into his hands. I imagine he wants Kwame to stop talking…

• We were assigned partners during orientation to do a role play of how to counsel the kids that come up to us with questions. Steve got up as soon as we broke off into groups and disapeared for about 20 min. When he came back, he asked, “Are we done yet?”

• Everyones been talking about FuFu and how we are going to try it soon. We’ve been believing for days its made from goat guts. I don’t even know who started this rumor when we got here. I just found out that’s not exactly true…

• Ghanaians are able to listen to the same cassette, over, and over, and over again in the car. Kwame loves to sing along. Over, and over, and over again.

• Me and Chelsea were in the back seat of Kwame’s car, and he has the windows up. He has AC on, but we cannot feel it at all in the back. It’s pretty disgusting back here. I rolled down the window. Kwame immediately rolled it up without looking at me, or saying anything…

• toilets don’t like to flush here.

• We forgot the tracts at the first rally.

• Craig hopped on a horse in front of the museum we stopped at. Because of that, I assumed the horses were for us. I hopped on the other one and rode down the street. Apparently that was a big no no….which resulted in them bartering with Kwame for the money he now owed them because of me. Oops.

• We were offered a pastry looking thing after church on Sunday. I watched as someone bit into it. It looked like cinnamon inside. I took a bite. It was actually some very strange, strong tasting meat and onions. (it was awful…) Craig asked what kind of meat was in it. I looked at him and said Beaver.

Now everytime we eat Craig asks Uncle Jude if the meat is Beaver.

• So you are supposed to eat soup with your hand. The hand is looked on as being cleaner than any silverware, in spite of being washed. I think I disagree…. (apparently the left hand is the “poop hand?” don’t ask…) It’s hard not to want to wipe off your hand each time you dip it in the soup.  Alfred looks at me like I don’t like it (I don’t–but that’s not why I keep cleaning off my hand in between dips).

• pants in Ghana is not the same thing as in America. pants is underpants in Ghana. So…don’t tell someone you like their pants, because then they will freak out wondering when you saw their underwear.

• a solicitor is actually what they call an attorney. Holy Scribe is a solicitor. He says that they wear long gray wigs–sometimes curly (like Ben Franklin). I joked with him and asked if he ever put accessories or bows in it. Sharon laughed. Holy Scribe didn’t. I don’t think he thought it was funny….

• girlfriend is “woman I’m sleeping with”. Ask Phillip how he found out about this one. It may or may not have to do with him giving his testimony to young kids

• June 28. I gave my testimony for the first time on this trip. Odorgonno Senior High School. If I went to school in Ghana, I would have wanted to go to this school. The Headmistress was just so joyful and so wonderful to be around! Sunshine just oozed out of her. Could’ve been Jesus actually. It was so incredible to be up front, and have these girls come up to me during the alter call.

• June 29. We left Accra this morning and headed to Ho. We are now staying at the Chance Hotel. I liked staying at the Hephzibah Christian Center more because of the view there on top of the mountain, and getting to know the people that worked there….but this place isn’t so bad.

• Tonight we went to Taviefe Senior High School. Phillip and Chelsea gave their testimonies. Chelsea was so bold tonight! I’m so proud of her. I counseled 3 girls. 2 of the girls recommitted their lives to Christ, and 1 of them surrendered her life for the first time.  One of the girls took me aside to talk to me alone. She told me she had turned away from God when she got a boyfriend, and when she was with him she became pregnant. Her boyfriend wanted her to abort the baby. She did. Her father found out and was extremely angry. She told me that her father has finally forgiven her, but she has to live with her uncle. She told me that sometimes she feels so alone. Sometimes she doesn’t feel like God is there. When she would go through really rough times, she would ask God to change it, to make it better. When nothing changed, she’d turn away from God even more. Wow. This sounds a little familiar…                  I’m really glad God put her in my path.

• Monday night: Chelsea’s been sick and vomitting all night .

• Tuesday June 30 SO a monkey flipped upside down from a tree and grabbed banana out of my hand. Maybe I should’ve sprung for the rabies shot before I left after all…

• Wednesday June 31: The most embarrassing moment of my life happened this evening. That is all.

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• Late Wednesday night: When I took a shower, I accidentally flooded the bathroom and power washed the entire room with the  shower head. It was so ridiculous, I felt like I was in a cartoon.

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• So…we were told that the food prepared for us on this trip would be up to U.S. standards. Well…it’s official. Every single one of us has gotten sick. Uncle Jude and Sharon have gotten sick too! Now if the Ghanaians can’t handle the food, you know somethings not right here…Uncle Jude is asking everyone if they’ve been “running”. That’s kinda awkward. I can’t handle this food at all. Physically, or the taste of it. I know I’ll be eating these Digestive crackers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until we leave Ghana.

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• We went to a place called “Pizza Inn” today. Oh boy. Heaven on African earth. And I had myself a coke.

• Humphrey Taught me, Phillip, and Chelsea a song in his local Ewa language. He is from the Volta region in Ho.

• I’m blown away with how God is using us. Every school we go to, kids are coming to Christ

• Babies are carrying babies.

• Babies are on the street selling just to help their families make enough money for food for the day. So many children can’t even go to school because they have to work. They come right up to the car and tap on the windows to get your atttention and to try and sell whatever they have. I’m told to ignore them, because they won’t listen to you if you tell them no. I’m being told to pretend they aren’t there. To not even look at them. I’m so sorry, Ghana, but there isn’t a bone in my body that can do this.

• Beeping your horn is a part of driving in Ghana. You beep to let people know you are there. In America, you beep to let people know you’re angry at them.

• The washroom behind a gas station we stopped at had a wall with “ladies” painted on one side, and “gents” painted on the other. Behind the wall….was just cement ground.

• There were billboards everywhere warning about aids and maleria. One had a picture of a policeman, with a shield in one hand, and holding a condom up in the other.

• One of the hotels we stayed out I decided to order lobster thermadore. It was a meal that would have been around $65 bucks here. Over there, the cost was equivilent to about 8 dollars. That was a really luxiourious meal. It’s pretty extravagant to spend that much. $8 US dollars.

• I almost died in the ocean.

• bartering is a sport here. Solomon says to offer only 1/4 of what they want and go from there. I don’t think i did it right. She got pretty mad!

“Why would you bring me in here and cut my throat like this!”

-Holy Scribe

“Why would you give me this at this price. You know me! I’m Uncle Jude!”

-Jude Hama

• The roads are disgustingly bumpy.

• I thought we were going to die on a few occasions….it’s very common to cross over into the lane with traffic going in the opposite direction (coming right at you!) if the person in front of you is going too slow.

• I was reading some prayers to Nana Yaw, and he said that the one thing that Christians have somehow steered away from in Ghana is how to pray. They have steered away from total depravity and brokenness, as a lot of scripture shows,  and tend to pray more for strength, power, and prosperity. I gave Nana Yaw my Valley of Vision book. It’s so easy for me to go get another. They don’t have access to things like we have here. He really appreciated it and seems excited to use it as a tool to help bring prayer back to the way it should be.

• The elders in Ghana are highly respected and are very distinct by presence and dress. It’s so funny, everyone in America wants to look and stay young. Over here it’s completely opposite.

• Uncle Jude says the definition of culture is “the way we do things here” And for everything, there is rationale.

• Life seems to be lived outside here. And everyone is so friendly here. The houses and shops along the streets are so small. There are people everywhere outside with all kinds of items on their heads to sell. So many children selling–some are practically babies.

• Everyone claps off beat! (hey, kinda like an Anathallo concert!)

Hi. I just got back from Africa!

So I don’t even know where to begin. To sum up the whole trip for me:

Things I didn’t think I was capable of doing, God showed me that I could DEFINITELY do.

I had originally backed out of this trip because I didn’t believe that I would be able to raise the support needed to go. Three weeks before the trip, I took a leap of faith, and was not only able to raise all of the funds needed, but was also able to financially support my teammates with the overflow. I went on this trip with a lot on my mind, and even more laying heavy on my heart. Getting closer to the trip it seemed like really bad timing because I just didn’t feel prepared enough. I was emotionally and spiritually all over the place.  “Ok, God, you want me to go into this….with this heart…. I’m to share who YOU are?” This could get sloppy…

Right.

Well, I was a part of something really big in Ghana. God really showed me that if He wants me to do something,

He’s gonna do it.

We visited 16 schools and local churches, making 5, 594 evangelistic contacts. I gave my testimony more times than I can count, and God was able to use it-my story, to usher more people into His kingdom. The aggressive schedule was exhausting, but at the same time it was rejuvenating, strengthening, and encouraging. As tiring as some of it was, I felt more alive than I ever have in my life.

God prepared beforehand that I would walk in this big thing. He’s also preparing for me the things to come that I’m completely clueless about right now.  God designed me in a certain way unlike anyone else, to go where no one else would go….To be with someone no one else would be with. Like Yorm. And Frieda. and Patience. and Justine. He’s molding me, and shaping me still to accomplish exactly what he wants me to accomplish. Things I could never imagine that I could. And for those things yet to come…I hope I dare do them.

And because of Jesus, I am no longer defined by the boundaries I’ve placed around myself. He can accomplish far more than I could ever dare ask or dream.

Being a Christ-follower is pretty exciting.

I feel like I need a cigarette…except I don’t smoke.

So I was really hoping to blog something exciting, inspirational, and hopeful. In less than 4 days I leave for Africa. I think that merits an exciting, inspirational, and hopeful blog. I mean, how amazing is that?!?! I didn’t even know I was going a couple months ago. And in 3 weeks, I was able to raise all of the support I needed. How does that happen? To me? God blows my mind.

I spent half the day today just staring at my clothes, trying to figure out what to bring…and thinking that if I’m sweaty and gross I’ll want to change again by evening.  Counting two changes of clothes per day for two weeks is technically a months worth of clothes. This is what I’ve been stressing about today.

Ugh. I feel shallow, disgusted, and stressed. This is not where I need to be.

And now I’m thinking about the details of the trip. Will I say the right things? Will I say what I mean to say?

I’m incredibly anxious.

Confessions.

I steal biscotti from the executive kitchen at work.

I will sometimes buy hair products or hand soaps that have a more unisex or masculine scent because I like having the smell around.

I went to the mall wearing high heels once. My feet were killing me so badly that I faked a sprained ankle at guest services so I could get a wheel chair to ride around in.

I have a secret love for Rob Thomas…

I sometimes talk to customers on the phone with different accents.

God changed my life.

I pray for you everyday. many times throughout the day.

If you think I might be talking about you, you might be right.

I have a hard time with self discipline. I need it, I want it. I fail many times.

I’ve written a letter to “my future husband” probably about 5 times. Every time I wrote it I was crushing on someone pretty bad and had it in my mind that my future husband was them.

Sometimes I write really ridiculous things. And I want to post them, but I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me. Sometimes I lack discretion. Sometimes I don’t care.

My tastebuds are not rejoicing.

So I decided to grab food before I came home tonight. I’m trying to eat healthier and lose a few El-Bees so I went to Whole Foods. I managed to eye the salad bar a few times, but then decided to go for some squash spaghetti with feta and basil, and some vegan general tao’s chicken (both quite de-lish).

So then, as I was looking for something to wash it down with I came upon this:

Kombucha Tea. Apparently it’s the new craze that I’ve somehow missed out on.  Shown to “rejuvenate, restore, revitalize, replenish, and regenerate”

“Oh wow, I need that!!”

I purchase my drink, and as I head out the door I start twisting off the cap.

“ssssssssssssssssssssssss”.

“Huh? Ok, I just bought carbonated tea. Not really my thing…but no biggie.”

As I bring the open glass bottle closer, a sour odor stings my nose.

Well, let me tell you. If you’re in the mood for fizzy-fermenty-yeasty-vinegary liquid gym sock with floaters, then boy, is this drink guaranteed to satisfy!

I figured I would do some research on what exactly makes this tea a “home-made” tea, and so, I went to the most reliable source for all of my internet reseach: Wikipedia.

“Kombucha is the Western name for sweetened tea or tisane that has been fermented using a macroscopic solid mass of microorganisms called a “kombucha colony”

“Wha?”

For those of you who are like myself and are more visual learners– I’ve included some pictures of Kombucha in the making:

In Japan, kombucha tea is known as “kocha kinoko” which translates as “tea mushroom”, and has a lot of health claims.

I didn’t realize you could “hand make” tea. I’d consider myself a well-educated, snooty tea conoseiur, and I’ve never come across a tea that wasn’t leaves, sometimes dried fruits, and water. Maybe that dish I left on the counter for a few months that had things growing in it…maybe I’ll market that. There’s some organic for ya.

I went to their website, and the slogan for Kombucha tea is “re-think what you drink” Well, thanks to you, kombucha tea, my taste buds are scarred for life and I just wasted $3.47. So, I think I will….

The open beverage is now sitting on the table next to me. I keep looking at it–and I keep reaching for it. It’s almost become a challenge to myself.

“One more Sip! You Can do it!!”  As if it won’t be so bad the next time….

“Auggh!”

Yep. It was.

It tastes so terrible that it has to be good for you, right?

thoughts about the D word.

I can tell before I start this “blog” that it isn’t going to be the most profound thing I’ve ever written…but whatev.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about things in life. I’ve been praying a lot about things in life. Including the D word. The idea of dating has been kind of a discouraging thing to think about for me.

There are a lot of  single Christian guys out there. I wish there were just as many who were head over heels about Jesus. You’d think that the two would go together….

Ok. That’s all I really have to say…or want to say. 

 

Blah,

Hannah.

Faith Enough.

I have a problem with pride.
Not the kind of pride that thinks I don’t need anyone’s help,or thinks that I have it all together
(don’t laugh. I know you all know that I don’t think that)
But the kind that thinks God isn’t big enough.
It’s almost as if I don’t believe what I say I believe
….As if I don’t believe God really is THAT big.
That He can do what He says He can do.
If I did, I feel like I’d be on my knees a lot more.

I’m in this infomercial world
and all the ways I’m told that will bring me to Him.
He’s all I really want
and so I’m sucked in.
I read more books about Him than His own Holy Word itself
I use Him as a way to get caught up into people.
Social justice and the common good–all in “His name”, of course.
Am I more in love with that
Than Jesus Himself?

I’ve always believed, never doubting His existance
(I’ve actually tried to, and I couldn’t. I’m haunted by it)
But how can I even begin to know Him until I choose to believe Him?
I want to take Him at His Word. Everything He says.
My pride cheats me from Him.
I take for granted that I can talk to the God of the entire universe directly. Anytime. Unceasingly.
…If I chose to.
And that He wants me to have faith enough to believe His incomparably great power is for us.
For those who believe.
The same great power that raised Christ from the dead–
That’s the same power He has for us.
Really. See Ephesians 1.
God says it, I believe it.
( I mean. I want to believe it.)

I wonder what would happen if we prayed like we believed?
If we really believed.
We probably would be on our knees a lot more…

In Matthew 9:27 Jesus heals two blind men. He asks them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this? They replied, “Yes, Lord”.  Then He touched their eyes saying. “According to your faith, it will be done to you.”

Whoa. So. My faith impacts what God will do in my life…

And now I’m writing this blog, instead of getting down on my knees.

 

 

I’m gonna get down on my knees.

My New Year’s Resolution

Looking back on it, this year has been the most life changing. ever. It’s been one of the best years, and also one of the hardest at the same time.

Ask me a year ago, (well I probably wouldn’t have told you anyways), but I pretty much was convinced that me and God were never going to have a great relationship. I had accepted it. I wanted desperately to believe God loved me, but it felt like kindof a generic distant way. I was pretty bitter and hurt about lot things in my life…and most positively hands down blamed Him. Not to mention acting out in spite probably didn’t help the relationship much. Not trusting that He was actually FOR me probably didn’t help much either. And So I was living and settling because I convinced myself that there was nothing that was going to change. To me, God was who I made Him out to be, and not who He actually was…

This past year, I slowly, and sometimes more surely than others, stopped acting like I knew it all. When I did this, things happened.

I look back at my life now and I can easily see that the times I thought I was hanging by a thread, God was actually holding onto me with an unwavering grip. I’ve come to know that His refining is a process, and it can be quite painful.  I have been able to forgive those I never thought I could. I have been able to forgive myself. A calloused heart full of anger and hurt, experienced healing, renewal and a real joy I never thought I would know.  My prayers went from desperate begging, to daily complete surrender and trust. I’ve learned that wounds you think are healed can easily become reinfected if your identity isn’t rooted in Christ.  I now have a profound understanding that God loves me as I am, and not as I should be.

I can’t tell you if I’m the prodigal daughter, or if my journey with Christ started a year ago. What I can tell you, is that in the past year, I have fallen in love with a Savior. And I’ll never be the same.

So now that we are up to date, I will continue to be honest.

I’m so worried about figuring out what I’m good at, what I’m gifted with, how I can be special, even the most glorious really…but then it hit me.

It’s not about me.

I’ve been dwelling on finding my place in this world, that I forgot that this world is not my home.

Oh man, it feels good to have such a hope. A promise!

So my resolution:

To stop trying to figure it out. Stop trying to figure out my place in this world, and what I can do to feel like I have worth here.  I’ve found that as I trust God more and more, His will actually finds me, and my purpose is being fulfilled in the midst of loving God and loving people.

He’s made it clear in so many ways that I’m so worth it. Now I want to start living in a way that shows people how much He’s worth it.

It’s not about me.

First Sundays.

The first Sunday of every month Crossroads is now meeting at the Stanton Center in Annapolis to serve a meal to the community on and around Clay Street. This isn’t a “line-up-and-here’s-your-plate” soup kitchen. Instead, it’s a  ”Come-in, let-me-show-you-to-your-seat, you-are-our-guest-tonight” night.  The Auditorium is transformed into a restaurant, and we seat and serve a meal to the people that come in–and then also sit down with them to eat and hang out.  The “us and them” mentality is out the window, and instead, relationships start to form as we enjoy the night together. As we get to know each other, it also becomes very natural to talk about our lives on a deeper level, including about our faith and relationship with God. This is very exciting.

Last week while at the Stanton Center, I met this guy named Marcus. Marcus came into the Stanton Center that night by chance–he was simply stopping by to put up fliers for a music festival he was putting together on Clay Street that following saturday, and he urged us to all come and to bring friends. I thought the event sounded like it could be pretty cool, but I can honestly say I wasn’t planning on thinking much about it once he left. After all, it was on a Saturday. That’s my day.

So the following week came and yesterday I remembered Marcus. And just started to think about “First Sundays” and what it is we are actually doing here. I started to feel so convicted, I couldnt stop thinking about everything. “First Sundays” is such a great way to love and serve and build relationships with the community on Clay Street! And there. I had done it. First Sundays has become this cool church thing I do once a month that fulfills my “loving God, and loving people” requirement. 

Check! 

Pretty convenient, really.

How much of a sacrifice is this to me anyways? I mean, it’s during a time I’ve already set aside that I would normally be at Crossroads. I’m starting to feel like this one night a month might not be everything I’m called to be doing right now. I’m being tugged to be so much more than that.

So today was that music event that Marcus was handing out fliers for last week. And today I was a part of something. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t completely comfortable at first(even with the two friends I had with me–thank you Shane and Tom:-). I mean, here I am, trying hard not to look and feel awkward, and on unfamiliar territory looking very ovbiously like an outsider. It’s a little hard to be at ease when you walk by a house with an “If you don’t live here, stay away” sign on a porch. It’s funny though–after about an hour in, I was laughing and dancing with this community on Clay Street–and even started a Conga line. 

I hope as more opportunites come as a way to love and serve people, I take them, even if my first reaction doesn’t feel like it. It’s so worth it.

It’s funny how I was going with the intention of trying to bless these people in some way, and they blessed me.

Salad needs more butter, mother!

In light of being invited to family night at friend’s house on Monday, I thought it would be good to do some research on how to behave in such a setting that I haven’t had much experience with. I was taking notes. A few things i’ve learned:

I need to wear something festive.

Always cut the meat of the person to your left.

We may or may not be scrubbing each other.

Emotions are for ethnic people.

If I’ve handled a dead woodchuck, I really should wash my hands…

Offer Pop some gin if you sense some tension.

 

Well, there it is. Spankings all around then.

Oh Cilla, I can’t wait. I’m giddy.